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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882706">My One</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Marvel_Musings/pseuds/My_Marvel_Musings'>My_Marvel_Musings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, Gen, So much angst, no happy ending, tiny fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:47:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Marvel_Musings/pseuds/My_Marvel_Musings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Kili are inseparable as a mischievous duo. But because you weren’t part of the royal family, you couldn’t join the Company to take back Erebor. Fearing for Kili’s safety, you ask him not to go. He promises he will be fine and will see you again once the Lonely Mountain is secured. What happens when the promise is broken?</p><p>Requested by Anon</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kili X Reader - Relationship, kili x gender neutral reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hella angst! Character canon deaths in this!</p><p>I had this in the drafts last night but apparently, AO3 thought it needed to be published. Sorry for those who read it. That was deleted and this is the full one-shot.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You two! Stop right there!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there was no way you and Kili were slowing down. If you were caught, you would be lectured by Thorin for days. He still hadn’t fully calmed down from the last prank you and Kili had pulled off. Fili swears the real reason why Thorin’s hair was turning grey was because of you two. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dwarven encampment was on the edge of the village of Bree and the two of you weaved around all the tents, occasionally jumping to miss a small child or dog. Past the last tent, you both race towards the trees that backed the Barrow-downs. Finally, you both stopped so you could catch your breath, leaning against a tree. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you actually put that in Dwalin’s ale!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kili did a double-take. “You dared me to!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do every dare I give you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I do.” You were both laughing now. Sometimes it was hard to believe you were best friends with one of the royal princes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bâheluh, what would I do if I didn’t have you to cause mischief.” You placed your head against his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bâheluh. My friend of all friends,” Kili mumbled quietly. He took a deep breath and spoke louder, “you are that as well for me, but I wish to speak of another matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You lifted your head to wonder why Kili had turned so serious, but a loud voice broke the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you two are!” Fili came running up. “Thorin has been looking for you, Kili.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You both exchanged a look. Had Dwalin already figured out who did the prank? But instead of trying to explain yourselves - because you had learned long ago that you may accidentally confess to a prank Thorin did not know of - you instead asked a question. “Why is our king seeking us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not us, just Kili. This is a matter for the royal family.” Fili wasn’t saying that to be cruel, there were just certain things you couldn’t know at your status.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you nodded your head and hugged Kili. “Come find me afterward so we can finish this conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our usual spot?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! Bye, Fili!” You waved at the princes before walking off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the rest of the day empty without your partner-in-crime, you walked back to your tent to see if your parents needed any help for the rest of the afternoon. But they were in a deep discussion when you approached them and only chased you off so they could talk privately. You soon noticed it was like that all over the encampment and part of you felt it had to do with whatever Thorin needed Kili for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So with your day truly free, you made your way to the small pond that was tucked in the woods. You and Kili had stumbled upon it shortly after camp had been made and it had been your spot ever since. Sitting down by the water, you watched the setting sun glimmer over the water as a small duck family swam by. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thoughts of Kili filled your mind as you waited. You had known him for so long, despite the royal family having their reservations of one of the princes spending time with a commoner. But Kili had never cared because you saw him as he was and not a prince. The two of you had clicked instantly and became a pranking pair. Where it had once been Fili and Kili, it was now you and Kili. And everyone noticed it. While your parents hoped that one day you would be lucky enough to be courted by Kili, you weren’t so optimistic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, you had fallen in love with the prince. You were pretty sure he was your one. But you were not so blind as to believe the royal family would let you marry him. Not to mention, Kili never once led you to believe he had felt the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think too hard, or you may hurt your head,” a familiar voice teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You looked up and smirked. “Funny, that is usually what people believe of you thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kili took a seat next to you. “You wound my pride, _____”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe it for a moment,” you teased back. “Is everything alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kili sighed. “Thorin wants to take back his home. Our home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erebor,” you whispered. “He wants to go to the Lonely Mountain? But doesn’t the dragon still sleep there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath. “The dragon does, but we will not be alone. The wizard Gandalf will be accompanying us and we will have to hire a burglar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A burglar?! Whatever for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To grab the Arkenstone. It’s the only way Thorin can properly claim his throne.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what of the dragon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kili grew quiet. “We have not figured that part out yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You took a deep breath. “Alright. I’m coming with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m coming with you. This will be a long journey and I cannot have you face it alone. We will face the dragon together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kili shook his head. “No, I cannot let you do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do not have a say in this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but Thorin does. He has already selected those who will join him.” Kili paused. “He would not let you join.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just like that? I am supposed to wait for you to return?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kili took your hand and you could feel him tremble. “I do not wish to part from you, but I must do this for my family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You squeezed his hands in reassurance. “I do not wish for you to leave. You- you mean so much to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile crossed his face and for you, it was as if you were watching the sunrise. “It means so much to me to hear you say that, amrâlimê.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your jaw dropped slightly. Did Kili just call you his love? “Kili?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kili turned your hand over and placed a single bead in your palm, the same color as your eyes. “I want this to be a promise, that I will return to you. I- I want to court you when I return.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Kili!” You clutched the bead tight and threw your arms around his neck. “I would love nothing more!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held you for what felt like ages and each moment was beautiful. But too soon he was pulling away to look at you. “Will you-? May I-?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You smiled shyly and nodded your head. “Yes, you may braid my hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning your head, you sat still so Kili could braid your hair and place the bead, letting everyone else know you were spoken for. “When I return, I will add a bead of the most beautiful gem I can find.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just having you home will be enough for me.” You turned to face Kili and he planted a gentle kiss on your lips. “Please come home as quickly as possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise, amrâlimê.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, take this with you.” You reached into your pocket and pulled out a stone you had carried around since you were a child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your good luck charm? I can’t take that from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can and you will. You will need all the luck you can get against a dragon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled as he tucked the dark green stone into his pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just a few days later, Thorin, Fili, Kili, and ten other dwarves were leaving to meet up with the wizard in the Shire. Apparently, the burglar they hired was a hobbit. Kili gave you one last hug and kiss before he ran off to join the Company. You stood on the road as long as possible to watch them walk off into the distance and after they were no longer in sight, you walked off to your spot. It was not even an hour, and already your heart felt empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You stayed until the sun had set and long even after that, never wanting to move for fear if you left your spot you would be leaving Kili. But your parents wouldn’t have you spend all night out in the woods and slowly convinced you to return to your tent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day after your chores you were at it again. And the day after that. And that one as well. Soon the days were blending together and you were unsure as to how much time had truly passed. And your family was worried for you. They had seen the courting bead, but as much as they had hoped they also knew that there was a chance Kili wouldn’t come back. If not from the dragon, then from the Orcs that did not care for Thorin. But you refuse to give up hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>…...and waited still for your amrâlimê to return. To finish courting you. To marry you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your family convinced you to keep up with your chores and to keep up with the community, but any moment you weren’t needed, you were at your spot. You knew the moment Kili returned, he would come for you there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon a year of waiting had passed and the encampment was filled with rumors. The dragon ate the Company. The burglar betrayed them and took the Arkenstone. The wizard was no wizard and the company was tricked into going to Dol Guldur instead. The Orcs captured the party and were now their prisoners.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over and over and over the rumors swirled, never once giving your poor mind a break. It was to the point you felt you were going to snap. So you spent even more time at your spot. And what had once been a special, quiet place for you and Kili was now a place for anyone in the encampment to find you. There had been talk of packing up and moving closer to Erebor in case Thorin had been successful, but no one wanted to really move. Not without the word. Not with all the Orcs out there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And you weren’t about to leave your spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On yet another morning where you were going to spend a few minutes at the pond before starting your chores, your mother stopped you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, uzfakuh, please don’t go there again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My Greatest Joy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She only called you that when she was truly worried for you. But you couldn’t help yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, amad. Mother, I must go. He may be back any day now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you love him, but you must not-” she was interrupted by a loud commotion outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re back!” Came one voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is Gandalf the Grey!” Shouted another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kili,” you breathed. And before your mother could stop you, you were out the door and through the encampment. You pushed past others, the tall wizard in your eyesight as you made your way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But when you got to the front of the group, you were met with a very somber Gandalf. He noticed you and at that moment he seemed to know who you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ____?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All you could do was nod your head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked as if he aged even more at your gestured and reached his hand out. Trembling, you stuck your hand out to take whatever it was he was handing you. A small, dark green stone was placed on your palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kili spoke of you so much, I feel I know you personally. I know he would have wanted you to have this back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You began to tremble, not wanting to hear what Gandalf was about to say. “N-no. No! He- he said he would return to me. He- he said….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am so sorry, ____. While they survived the dragon, it was the Orcs in the ensuing battle after the mountain was freed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached down to place a hand on your shoulder, but you shook him off and ran. Far and fast, your feet only knowing one spot. Bursting through the last of the treeline, you stumbled until you dropped on your knees, mere inches from the pond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sorrow began to take over your body and sobs began to pour out of your mouth. He was gone. He was truly gone. Your one, the dwarf you were going to marry, to start a life with. And now what did you have? A courting bead and your good luck stone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You snorted through your tears. “Good luck stone. Some luck you brought me. Worthless stone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A stone is neither lucky nor unlucky just because Kili didn’t survive the war,” Gandalf’s voice came softly up behind you. “We cannot control what fate may bring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fate is cruel and I don’t need your advice, of all people. I heard the rumors. You are the one who told Thorin to take back Erebor. You are the reason I don’t have Kili back!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gandalf took a deep breath. “Yes, I told Thorin to take back the mountain, but-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hear your reasons! Just leave! NOW!!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gandalf went to speak again, but you held your stone with the obvious intent to chuck it at his head. So he sighed, bowed his head, and left you alone to your sorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alone once more, you turned to the pond. You knew that this grief would consume you and you didn’t know how it could be better. But you knew one thing; you didn’t want to keep what was a reminder. So you reached out and dropped your lucky stone into the pond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Farewell, my amrâlimê. I will never love another. Until we can see each other again.”</span>
</p>
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